i was given a choice.

i stood there lingering, my heartbeat more relaxed than it was a few minutes ago. the very same heartbeat that thrashed around my chest, wanting to pin down somebody close, never to let go. i stood there with scenes of what just happened flashing back at me. i stood there wanting to make sense of what just happened...

i was given a choice that was easy to make as far as choices go.

to either sit mutely as the wild little red balloon flew past by my head, only for me to be haunted forever by the endless train of 'what if's' and 'what could have been's'. or to accept the perceived invitation and grasp the string and be taken away...

but of course, choices could only go so far.

as all balloons do, they yearn for freedom. i would only be an unnecessary weight on its string, pulling it down from the heights that it could reach.

at the very beginning i was given a choice.

then again, my choice is only mine to make. things may change, but they change on their own. my choices are powerless to change things that do not want to.

it might not be the sweetest, nor is it the happiest, nor does it mean i could finally forget, but after a long time, knowing i made the right choice,

i could finally smile again.